1 Be predictable. If the seeds of suspicion emerge? If you start to think about what is going on? Why do it? He has never done before. This is so unlike him. Lose 30 pounds, buys a new wardrobe and comes home late from work. Changes its pattern. His behavior is unpredictable. You get the picture? It can take any movement away from predictable behavior and can worsen the trust. Focus on acting predictably if you need to build confidence. Be consistent in whatto do. This does not mean you have to be boring. If it is a wink and a dose of spontaneity, from time to time, for heaven's sake, be spontaneous and fun loving. Spontaneously, but be consistent! Be true, who you are and have always been consistent, which tends!
2 Inform your significant other, if it is "unpredictable." Nobody goes through life the same person. We all make changes. Honestly, sometimes we can be quite unaware of whathappens and where we go. These times can be very intense and we do stupid things, or very stupid decisions. Life can be very unpredictable, and squirrels. (I have a favorite phrase. Gold is refined through intense heat) growth in an individual, marriage or family is often accompanied by some 'of chaos. Welcome these changes, because it is a part of you looking for something better / different / richer / deeper, but for heaven's sake, tell your partner what you. Experience say: "I really do not know what's going on inside me now, but I'm moving in another direction Being a little 'patience with me while I discover that I could do some stupid things, but my intention is not .. is to hurt or scare. Accept and ask some of my hiking and ask there for me? I might have to perform some of these from you all so much! "
3 Make sure your words match the message. What you say and say what you mean. If your partner feels that theTheir words but the tone of voice body language and facial expressions are really saying something else, the relationship is open to do a crazy couple of days. What message do they want? This can waste a huge amount of energy, and she does not learn his part, say what they like. Here is a very simple example, but typical. I am always willing to go to a dinner party. Your wife comes to you and says: "How do I look" (And she wore a dress that you like and not particularlyThe hair is in a way that has been moved.) Do not ruin the evening to say enthusiastically, "You're great." Does not really mean and not a part of it seriously. But, let him go. This may not seem a big deal - we've all done something similar - but if trust is shaky to begin with, is even more unstable now. Here is how to match words with the nonverbal. "I think you're a beautiful person I want you to know that I love very much and it will.wonderful tonight by my side. Others see your beauty. (As you say, you look into his eyes as his hands around her waist.) Is not so much on how you look worried, but expressed a need for confirmation. They want to know not to talk about her dress or hair, but those who go in the evening is good. Respond to the real message. You can take a step forward, if you want. At some point you might need to bring their confirmation andtalk about it. Ask them, that's all I can do what they say or do, so that must be met. Trust is awareness of the will, under the clear message and respond to it!
4 Do you think the other person is responsible. I heard this phrase often: "But I do not want to hurt him." Some things are at stake here. First, they can not have the capacity to deal with others with the truth in a way that brings reconciliation and understanding with them. She believes that telling the truth is too destructive or porta kind of drama. Neither is true. The truth is never destructive and can be transmitted in a loving way. (That said, what we have, the truth is actually a distorted perception believe that our personal needs are cut.) Or you can see the other person as a wimp, does anyone think he can not handle rigorous personal confrontation. If you do not want to trust that the other person's inner strength or stamina or ability to be in a relationship of mutual respect and equality. The other person hasup to that distrust and does what he (pretends to inadequacy and incompetence) to avoid the personal confrontation as it is. A dance is acted. And believe in your heart that the other person, somewhere and somehow, beneath the games, the internal strength and the ability to have everything under control. Such trust builds trust in the other person and begins to pervade the relationship. "Hey, you think I can handle it! Hmmmm, this is a good powerful, I can participate and truly intimate!"
5Be very careful to keep secrets. If he knows that there's an elephant in the room and not talk about the elephant occupies a large space in the report. It takes energy to get it to work around him. You can not see the elephants, but he knows that he bowed his neck to look at something. I'm curious, are easily disturbed, have feelings, but there are no words to wrap around them might ask if there is something wrong or knows how to fight with trust his intuition (her intuitionElephant is there.) And if we do not trust the news coming from us, we enjoyed it very difficult to find the other person trust the news. The secrets of the huge demand for energy and erode trust. The report is not going to experience wall-banging intimacy. This is why extramarital affairs are so damaging. It is not so much for him to have sex with someone else worry about it as a betrayal, distrust, secrets and deception that makes you crazy and energyEmptying. Now, please. I'm not saying that your partner will sit and tell the 23 mysteries of the past behavior illegal. If you have solved this, that he forgave, understand those behaviors, learned from them and that could be used for domestic travel that are for your personal development, which do not qualify as an elephant. I hope that in the course of growing intimacy in your relationship, you may want to reveal some of these events share with your partnerwhere you were and where you are now. They do so without emotional charge. If, however, a mystery unfolds, so even an emotional charge and is held behind to disclose more of themselves in the growth stages of intimacy, you have a problem that you and your partner should be treated.
6 Let your wishes be known - loudly. Being a little '- self-centered - not much. (To be selfish, but not selfish!) Here's a problem I encountered almost every day. It 'important to(Maybe at work, another person, etc.). You feel the trust and intimacy eroding, is scared and wants to "reclaim him." It all begins effort to "work on the marriage." She invites him to do better. He may reluctantly agree. She blasts full throttle ahead trying to "beautiful" and meet all the needs that he had never said that. It will "fill his tank with goodies." It does not work. Your eyes are riveted on him. He feels "smothered" or maybe even angry: "Why do they do! NOW 'AND' full of hope, but eventually that turns into resentment, your motivation for -. If I meet her needs, you feel good and meet mine - just does not work, it's perceived as manipulation, which of course, says nothing ... After all, you get angry with Trust as someone who is so "nice and caring?" breaks under a blanket of quiet niceties. Begin with your eyes fixed on you. What do you need? Discover your personal need system. dig below the surface to say. And then"I need ... x, y, z. I like to talk with you about it I would suggest that we set to work in a way so my needs are met, you are open to das ..?" To him he has the power to say yes or no. Or you can say: "And my needs?" They replied, "I am very happy to hear what is important to you interested, sure." Have you ever been around someone who stated clearly what they needed / wanted? They have no respect this person? Because you knew where he was, and then, where was thatInteraction step towards a relationship of trust?
7 state that is - out loud. It 'very sad to see that the emotional investment in relationships hold to let the other person know they really are. They create trust in a relationship through the transfer of your SELF, the other person. It sounds simple, but I think it's difficult for most of the removal. Many of us have a difficult time explaining ourselves. First, if you're like most of us do not have many ideas of whatis that really makes YOU. Do not you feel as you glide through life on autopilot, focusing on the tasks, goals, successes, problems and external realities? Not rather focus on things out there or that person out there? You're the one who thinks he will answer the question as if he likes you, whether it's an obstacle, and where they fit into your life? Their conversations may be pleasant but fairly superficial and bluntly, boring, stupid. Theirtalk about things / relationships / events there. They are reluctant to share their thoughts, values, and impressions or take a stand. This does not destroy confidence. But he can not either. And if you can take a stand to protect yourself or do you hide how you react against someone. This more often than not creates trust barriers. Take some 'time to adapt to the standards. What are your standards for a relationship? What standards should be kept to oneself?What does it mean for your life? What are the 4 top values in your life? What are some themes that you live? What are you known? And then ... begin to raise awareness of important people in your life. They respect you. You know you are always lower. Thank you for the opportunity, you know. They see you as a person with character. You trust. You can count on you. You know exactly what is behind you and within you.
8 Learn to say NO! Sometimes you have to say,NO! Often, it is crucial to say NO! Say NO boundaries set around you that protects you from being hurt or venturing into an area that has to be destructive to your heart and your soul. You draw a line. You stop tolerating that the flow of energy and makes you less than you. They refuse to allow the destructive behavior of others to destroy you. It creates a moat around the core of your life. They do this by making the other person what they do. They ask him to stop. If they do notto stop, ask them to stop. If you do not stop to walk without a joke dismissive eye-roll or comment. For some people seem harsh, but to say no is respected. Fear is the basis of suspicion. If you are afraid someone will hurt you and I have nothing else left to bear the fear of evil prevail, it is. How can you trust when you are in fear? To say no, you can protect yourself, send a message to the other person does not live in fear. Usually triggers a reaction of respect for theother person. After all, if you can protect yourself and refuse subjugation to that which is destructive, not the person, who would come to trust you and see you as a person that only he / she could also be protected from harm?
9 Upload neutral. If your significant other expresses something powerful, neutral charge. Many of us are afraid of strong feelings or points of contention in a relationship. I often hear from defense (an alleged attack), answer, explainitself, against the arrest or on foot. Of course, the relationship remains stuck in this quagmire of mistrust and fear. Rather than react with your feelings and flows around the world, or shut down, practice charging neutral. Communicating peace, not only in your voice, but also how to bring your body. Do not talk with a charge to your voice. Check your voice! Say what you say, the truth and do it directly and calmly. You can do itOnce you master your fears. It will fundamentally change the course of the relationship. You may notice something big without a big out of it. They will be checking on you. This is not just a great feeling, but your partner trusts that do not fly or fall apart. You will experience your personal power. This makes you very attractive. People do not trust that their personal power and how it is for the good of themselves and use the other white? Your partnerlike the fact that you consistently trust your company's "quiet center" to continue to work hard, not back and tell the truth with conviction and confidence.
10 Digging in the mud. Reports of emotional investment that lead to their nature, trials, suffering, distress, chaos, chaos, change, stretching and growth. They are the grist from which the form and shape your life. Be fearless in the face of turmoil, upset, crisis, questions and fears. When the time is ripeseek them out. Approach to the unknown is frightening. Digging in the dirt of your relationship and uncover the treasures. Do you really trust that this could happen? The purpose of your relationship are not happy. Do you understand? Happiness can be the result, but your other is given to you to take you where you really want to be. Obstacles, trials and moments of pain are the lessons in which the script is deliberately written in your life given separately and together. Embracedifficult. Trust that in this most comprehensive and discover your true self. Trust that you are given the resources and capacity to face what you and your significant other to face. Once you are able to believe and trust these ultimate purposes, trusting your significant other will be much easier.
No comments:
Post a Comment